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The East Coast bias was out in full force last night on a Day-one wrap-up conference call with my CBS Sportsline NCAA bracket group (this is a really productive week, remember?)
When discussing Louisville’s thumping of Stanford, the conversation turned into a roast of the Pac 10 conference and the West Coast in general. (I get this a lot.)
Basking in the self-important superiority that is “so New York,” the right-coasters went for the jugular and commented, “Even Jennifer Aniston is moving out. Malibu is a freak show.” Like any Angeleno, I can handle lighthearted teasing, but the moment you drag Jennifer Aniston into it… them’s fighting words!
But the more I think about it, Malibu is kind of a freak show.
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While a 4 bedroom, 4500 square foot house on less than half an acre will cost you north of thirty-three million, it’s the people who give Malibu its reputation for lunacy. More than anywhere else, it seems, weird things go on in Malibu.
Just look at a sampling of recent events:
A fall-down-drunk Mel Gibson gets pinched for DWI and proceeds to sexually harass a cop ("What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"), and launch into a horrific anti-semitic screed;
After totaling a priceless Ferrari on PCH, a Swedish national blames the incident on a non-existent German character named “Dietrich,” whom he met in a bar; one of his associates promptly shows up flashing a police badge issued by a bus company in the San Gabriel Valley; then we learn that the guy actually stole the Ferrari and other vehicles; and the cocaine and weapons found in his house only serve to punch up the story!
Britney Spears… well, all you really need to say is “Britney Spears.”
And one of my all-time favorite they-really-are-different-from-us Malibu stories is the one about the billionaire Univision founder who used a permit for a running track to build himself an (illegal) private ten acre golf course near Surfrider Beach that apparently went unchallenged (unnoticed?) for, like, 20+ years! Still he wasn’t as brazen as David Geffen, who stole a beach.
And if laying claim to the beach wasn’t enough, now Malibu wants to annex the ocean too!
Last weekend, Pierce Brosnan, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand and some other celebrities held a protest rally at the Malibu Pier trying to stop construction of a natural gas platform offshore from Malibu. They claim it’s an environmental danger, but apparently it’s just one of several being built up and down the West coast and nobody in Malibu has said “boo” about any of the others!.* (Remember Steve Hoy’s comment in the LA Times a few weeks ago about why David Geffen was so tweaked about sunbathers in front of his house-- Nothing aggravates property owners more than having strangers pressed up against their walls on busy days? Obviously a big, ugly natural gas barge does because the Malibu glitterati are up in arms!!!!)
Admittedly, I prefer the east-side, but Johnny Drama summed it up pretty well: “F&*king Malibu…”.
*A reader has informed me that "Malibu residents have campaigned strongly against LNG terminals in Long Beach and Oxnard"
My apologies to Martin Sheen, Pierce Brosnan, and Barbara Streisand!
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| Posted by: Ryan_Knoll on Friday, March 16, 2007 - 12:59 PM
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